The One with the Bird Dookie

31 Aug

Before we get started with my little story, I just want to say that I am on Instagram! I have reserved this for my iphone explorations ONLY! Curious? You know you are: mcclewis_  (same as the Twitter). Check it out! Follow! I’ll follow back 😉

This isn’t really a photo blog, but more about meeting my new neighbors and learning the ropes of parking.

As with most cities, parking is limited in my neighborhood. Only one side of the street is open to park. The streets are narrow. Because of this, everyone on my street has off-street parking, usually in the form of a single car garage and driveway. I not an exception to this, nor is my (across the street) neighbor.

I am neighbors with an older couple – not denture creme, Rosco-scooter elderly, but polyester and elastic waistbands are definitely a factor. The husband dominates the garage. He uses it as his man-cave and to keep his car. I rarely see the door opened, unless it is to clean the driveway. The wife is the proud owner of an older minivan. She does not park in the garage, nor the driveway. We found this perplexing. Why not use a perfectly good driveway?? Instead, she parks in front of my house.

A few days later, I got my answer. My husband had parked directly in front of our house to help me unload groceries. The wife decided that we were monopolizing her spot and came over to politely complain. She explained that her husband does not permit her to park in the garage, so the street is the only place. Wait. What about that driveway? Ooooh, she does not park there because of “bird dookie.” My neighbors have this gorgeous tree. What kind, I couldn’t tell you, but the birds have decided that this tree is prime real estate. The wife disapproves of this natural habitat and does not want to be bothered with having to wash her van nor fool with a car cover. She then revealed to me that they intend to cut the tree down… because of the birds.

Wow! Imagine that! Birds living in trees! The horror! Honestly, I have not noticed an oddly high number of birds chilling in this particular tree. But, it is what it is.

Why don’t I park in my own driveway and just avoid this headache of minivans and bird sh*t? Oh, I do.

We own three vehicles and a motorcycle. Out of kindness, I park my dually in the driveway. I imagine commuters and neighbors would not appreciate having to maneuver around my long-wheel based, king cab, F-350 (complete with rather large flairs over the four rear tires). The garage is occupied by my husband’s motorcycle…. which is currently torn apart in preparation for a complete overhaul. My BMW is… well, it is in storage in MS until I can get down there to bring it and my horses here. Thus, the Charger is in the street. Yes, I own too many vehicles for city life. I am hoping that I can leave my dually at the barn with my horse trailer. Until that decision can be had, it will occupy my driveway.

Can’t we just share the street? No, not really. We have a new mail delivery regulation going into effect. If the box is blocked, they will not deliver our mail. Wife’s van forces my Charger to sit in front of my mailbox.

To sum it up, bird crap is interfering with my mail! It is one of the craziest things I have had to deal with in awhile!

In honor of birds and sh*t everywhere:

Wow! If her van looked like that in the morning, I could understand! But, like I said, I haven’t seen a large number of birds in her tree… nor mine… nor anyone else’s!

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