I don’t believe it classifies as a depressive episode as much as it is me just being a BIG grinch.

3 Dec

I am not a holidays person.

Usually, between Halloween and the Chinese New Year, I have periods of extreme moodiness. As you may have come to realize, I am already an intense individual, so it sometimes takes a lot of nog to keep things flowing.

This year’s holiday season, gleefully, started a little different. I had a reason to celebrate the onset of Halloween. My little brother is finally 18yro. I’ve waited ten years for the day when he is no longer legally under my mother’s evil clutches. No, I haven’t tried to contact him. I’ve wanted to, but I don’t want to make things complicated for him. He is graduating high school early. While in high school, he has gathered enough college credits that he will be finished with his A.A. in the spring. 18yros with a college degree… I definitely know who gotz da smartz. He’s a busy young man. I have no intentions of disrupting his life with a “I’m the sister you haven’t seen in 10yrs” routine. However, I am finally at peace with the idea that he is out there and is reachable. I have no reason to be sad on his birthday any longer. I’m very proud of my genius little brother… and am also glad one of us is well-adjusted haha!

Usually, come Thanksgiving, I am ready for it all to be over. The holidays, that is. Crowds of people… most of whom have nothing to talk about other then what is wrong in their lives. Endless leftovers that end up being tossed to the dog, which then makes me feel guilty for wasting food. It is a viscous, succulent circle of cranberry sauce and apple cobbler.

My husband decided to shake things up a bit this year. He invited his family to our little house. At first, I was a bit upset… 22 people in my 1800sqft home. Fortunately, it didn’t happen that way. My brother-in-law with the large, but cute, family decided to spend the day with his wife’s family. Brother-in-law number two couldn’t join because his very pregnant girlfriend was told not to travel far from the baby catching facilities. Total in-law head count: Ten. Then we had two neighbors drop by. Twelve. Perfect for our 13lbs smoked turkey and 9lbs baked ham. I’m not a big fan of either turkey or ham, but will admit that I ate my fair share. Cooked to perfection. Small gathering of fun with just a handful of in-laws…. nice day. Oh yeah, and it was 80 degrees and sunny! Hard to beat that.

But, as Christmas approaches, I am beginning to feel more and more grinchy. My kids are dying to put up the tree and to light up the porch. Shopping. Knowing that I won’t be able to head north to see my family. The idea of one particular in-law who is currently on my naughty list inviting himself to my house… oh yes, please just invite yourself to my house for Christmas… it isn’t like we don’t have PLANS!

I can see myself decking someone’s halls before this is all over. Christmas is just a pain.

Christmas happens to be one of our son’s birthday. I try to stay positive and focus on his birthday, not the dog-eat-dog chaos of Christmas. Yes, we eat cake, not pie, on Christmas. In my opinion, it is the better option.

And, if I see one more “Christmas is Jesus Day” commercial, I might scream. No, it is Hallmark day. Toys R Us day. Walmart Day.

I will quietly behave myself, patiently waking for carnival season. Cross my heart.


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